21

Whats with this age?? i have no idea...but somehow reaching 21 doesn't feel good at all. I had this strange idea that this is the supposed age when u know everything..finally!!But then I don't see it happening, just as it happened after i turned 18. I am not kidding at all..if neone gets that impression. Somehow reaching this age and this stage in my life, i get to realise that there are hundreds of things that i haven't done so far, or whatever i might have done, were all wrong. the pride that i always carry with myself sometimes get so badly hurt that everything feels dark n dead. Time and again i am compelled to feel like a lonely schoolgirl, afraid coz she didn't do her homework. I dont know why i will be writing the next sentence but i have to..if not here then where. i guess my greatest flaw is that i dont give myself the time to observe judge and then decide. Either i am believing blindly or m not believing at all. Somewhere between all this i feel like losing my individuality. And doing so i have let people down, made huge mistakes, did badly in exams..overall doing nothing for myself. This urge to derive permission before doing nething and everything is not working anymore. No has never stopped me from doing anything and i have this amazing life of my own that I wud never want to trade with neone.. all i need is to shed my inhibitions abt things..be open and let go..